The reality of a brat

testing something

2007-08-21T22:20:00.000-07:00

I have moved my site hosting and I am testing disregard

Driveway

2007-08-21T14:58:00.000-07:00

I found a pretty cool site today. I have been looking for something to host files on for my grandma to download. She is a couple states away and really, not all that tech saavy. I needed something that was easier for her to use and yet robust enough that I was willing to use it to send large files.

Things like pictures, videos and how to documents mostly are what I needed it for but there is the rare occasion I need to upload something larger than 100MB and Driveway fit the bill. Easy, free and no registration. Seriously, what more could I ask for?

Change

2007-08-21T14:06:00.001-07:00

There are a lot of changes going on within my company. Most I don't understand, a few I fear. I hate that I don't have the whole picture of what is going on. The curiosity gets the better of me at times. At other times, my stubborn nature kicks in and I want to dig my heels simply for the sake of digging my heels in. This generally results in me getting a surefire Godsmack to the back of my head. I forget at times that if I was supposed to know everything, I would.

I am looking into going back to school at the next semester. I want to go back and get my teaching credentials. I am quite tired of doing a job that is just a job and not something I love. I figure since I have to go to work every day, logically, shouldn't it be something I love going to? I can take online classes to finish my undergrad stuff up at least. I want to start out slow to try to prevent the whole "OMG, its too much too fast" that leads to me quitting.

Change is inevitable and I must remember to embrace it rather than fight it. Fighting it only leaves me with battle scars and frustration. Embracing it leaves me with grace and dignity.

Rants - traffic and driving habits

2007-08-19T23:22:00.000-07:00

Yes, rants. Not rats. But rants.

Traffic Rants - this one is the biggest for me. I commute a total of 50 miles a day round trip on surface streets between work and home. I bet I have seen it all.

Why is it than when people come to a merge in the road they speed ahead to cut off the rest of traffic who is doing the right thing? Merging is not hard. No, not all. The left lane goes, the right lane goes, the left lane goes again. Theoretically, if everyone is doing is right, you end up with one car between you and the person you were behind. Yes, but here... it seems that signs of lanes being closed means you go as fast as you can to get in front of people. Why??? Will that 30 seconds really make the difference in your life? I suppose if you have to pee really really bad it might but come on!

And what is up with the people that zig zag through traffic? I have more fun watching them only to get up to the next light and be right next to them. I often smile and wave. Not even an old fashioned one finger wave, just a wave. As in hahaha you dip, all your rudeness got you nowhere fast. Literally.

I'm guessing that turn signals must be optional equipment these days on most cars. I'm guessing too that the price for them is so outrageous that its unthinkable to buy them. My car is older but it came with them originally. I haven't bought a new car in forever so maybe its a feature that is no longer standard? It seems to be the new fad to go fast to get around someone only to slam on your brakes and make a turn with no signal. Better yet are the ones I call drifters. They just sort of drift into your lane, usually cutting you off, with no turn signal in sight. I'd like to get a sign made on an old Bingo placard that reads "Guess your car came without turn signals" to flash at them.

Is it really that hard to go the speed limit? I'm not asking you go above it but when you are going 35mph in a 45 zone, it would be nice if you could do at least 42. Especially if you are in the fast lane. Its quite frustrating to be the car behind you that can't change lanes because everyone else is trying to get out from behind your turtle butt.

I was driving home today from the store and I came upon a younger than me guy in an older than mine car. The car was old. I think it might have been close to my age at least. Yet the stereo system would have put most theaters to shame and the rims were flashy enough to blind someone at the right angle. Ok, not my style but its not my car. Though it is silly to me to have accessories cost more than the car itself. And when the radio is up so loud with the bass thumping so hard it rattle my steering wheel... well, we got a problem. How is that pleasant to listen to? Are you meaning to provide the music for my car too? If so, can we change the station? Perhaps you are trying to synchronize your heartbeat? If I can't hear my radio though over the sound of yours... maybe you could turn it down? I have a baby in the backseat and I would prefer not having his whole body rattled by your bass.

My biggest pet peeve of all... the way some people use turn lanes when there is more than one at an intersection. See here is how it works... if you want to be in the left lane on the street you are turning on to, get in the left lane of the turning section. The same goes for wanting to be in the right lane, just get in the right lane of that turning section. This is especially useful if you are going to be making another left or right in the vicinity. If I know that the next time I am going to turn is left, well, I get in the left lane. Vice versa for the right. Its a pretty easy concept I think. Not too hard to manage in my opinion. Yet so many people get in the left turning lane to then cut off someone else to make another right. Why is that? Am I exceptionally smart to have figured this out? I somehow doubt it. I realize that there will always be those that are lost, unsure of where they are going but for the most part, they are the minority. Yet the majority drive like that. I just don't get it.

This post is brought to you by someone that doesn't feel like she owns the road, tries to be considerate of other drivers and hopes that they will be considerate of her.

Lap band

2007-08-19T21:45:00.000-07:00

Since having Alex, I have had a really hard time getting rid of the baby weight. Part of it comes from not having the time to exercise and part of it comes from not eating right. I despise what my body looks like now. I treasure my stretch marks as if they are warrior stripes because really, being a mom and having a child does make one a warrior. I hate though the extra pounds that are left.

I do not qualify for a gastric bypass and even if I did, I have heard so many horror stories about complications, I am just not sure I could go that route. I have seen commercials though lately for a new type of weight loss surgery called the lap band. Its interesting to me the way it works. I like the fact that it is an outpatient surgery and can be removed later if it needs to be.

I really need to change how I am eating, exercise more and focus on the quality of food rather than how fast I can grab it and go. Its something that I haven't done the way I need to. With my 21st birthday coming up for the tenth time, well, its time to start doing things different. It is nice though to know that there is a solution out there for those that are unable to get to the place they want to be physically.

Even Mommy needs to have fun

2007-08-19T13:45:00.000-07:00

Last night I was playing a game on my computer and I felt guilty about the time spent doing so. It got me thinking "Why should I feel guilty?". Alex was asleep. The laundry was done. The house was cleaned up. The backyard was mowed and cleaned up. The dog was feed and loved. Yet I still felt guilty about taking a little "me" time. I have spent the last 15 and a half months being a mom. During that time, I have grown away from myself. To a large extent, Bratshannon has ceased to exist and Momshannon has come into existence. I don't want to teach my son that having kids means you stop living.

Yes, having kids changes one's life. A lot. Yes, it is hard being a parent. And it is harder still to be a single parent. Instead of being able to share the duties, the worries, the energy- it is left to one to fill the place of two. That doesn't mean though that I should stop being me.

As Alex is getting older, I can see the independence he is gaining. He has gone from needing and wanting to be held 24/7 to an independent little boy that is content and secure enough to play on his own (supervised, of course). Soon enough he will be going off to school, having sports to practice for and friends to hang with. After that it will be college and a family of his own.

If I lose myself now, there is no guarantee of finding myself later. This leads to then either being miserable or worse, having Alex feel like he needs to care take to my social needs. It is better to continue to nurture him while nurturing me. This allows both of us the ability to grow, change and learn while being 2 separate people. 2 half people making 1 whole do not function healthily in life.

The moral of the story:

Taking time to do something pointless in the name of "me" time is good and right.

Post #400 (for lack of a better title)

2007-08-17T19:15:00.000-07:00

I am so glad its Friday! 2 days of playing and having fun with my boy.

I realized this afternoon that I talk to Alex like he is 30. I explain my reasoning to him, the logic behind decisions I make and the things I do. Its rather funny when I think about it. Either he will learn to tune me out rather quickly or he will learn to be very long winded! :)

In the computer world, I got Office 2007 in the mail a couple days ago and installed it this evening. Through work, we get a program called Microsoft Home Use and it allows us to buy certain software packages for very low prices. $21 for the Office 2007 suite and Visio. Pretty darn cheap if you ask me! It has a few new cool features in it for Outlook. The ability to check RSS feeds is really nice. It looks a lot like 2003 though it is more blue instead of silver/grey. I haven't launched all the apps yet but I would imagine there are some nice new features to play with in each one. I did like with Outlook that it had the ability to go out to my ISP and grab all the settings for me. THAT was nice instead of having to configure it manually (although that is still an option too).

TGI (almost)F

2007-08-16T21:53:00.001-07:00

What an expensive day! I got in my car at lunch to leave and found I had a dead battery. Site security happened to be driving through. I thought Woohoo! I am lucky, they'll jump my car. Turns out that no, this was one of the many services that was cut in the name of "efficiency". I called a coworker in the lab and luckily he had cables and was able to jump my car. The battery was really old, had a lot of corrosion so I am not surprised it died. I didn't leave any lights on or anything so it just died. $75 for a new battery at Wal-Mart. Of course in the process of them changing it, I looked around. I found a memory foam mattress topper, 4 inches thick for a good price, plus some household stuff. Yeah... it got expensive fast. I have been eyeing the memory foam for 3 months though. And really that is the best price I am going to find for that thickness. PLUS, I am hopeful it will help Alex sleep better which in turn will help me sleep better.

We went out to dinner tonight with some friends. Its the first time in I don't know how long I have been out on a weeknight. It was really nice. The food was great. Its a place called Fresh Choice and its an all you can eat salad bar, plus they have a bread bar, pasta, soups, pretty much everything. Alex ate a ton. I ate a ton. We both left full and sleepy.

Before I had Alex, I never really thought much about parenting. I just figured it was natural to some extent and learned to a different extent. I find myself sometimes amazed at all that I know, how much has been instinctual and how much has been following Alex's lead. I wonder when he gets older what memories he will have of his childhood. I wonder if he will remember the silly songs I sing him that I make up as I go, the lullabies that pop into my head that are made up and often make no sense. I wonder if he will remember the feeling of being loved and cherished or if, because it is so present, it will just be the way things are and something not noticed.

I often worry that I am not doing enough to help him learn. I hear about kids that can identify noses, ears, eyes, dogs and cats. These kids are younger or about the same age as Alex yet, he's not there yet. He can go and get a ball if you ask him where his ball is. He knows what yucky and "throw that away" mean. Maybe its just that kids learn different things at different times. Maybe its a sign that I am not working with him enough. I hate the feeling of failing as a parent. I hate the feeling of not knowing what I am doing and that lack of knowledge impacting my son. I despise being so uncertain at my ability and my quality of motherhood performance. I am hoping all moms go through this, as selfish as that hope is.

Tomorrow is Friday and for that I am very grateful.

Credit Card education

2007-08-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

When I was much younger (because you know, now I am old), I didn't really know anything about credit cards nor did I learn how to choose a credit card based on the cards merits. I pretty much just applied and got them. When I was 18, I was so far in debt, I couldn't see a way out. I had done credit counseling, I had done debt consolidation and I had tried debt management. The problem was though that what I was earning didn't come near what I owed in terms of monthly payments. I ruined my credit only 3 years into having it.

Fast forward a few years. I was in a better place as far as maturity. I was older, wiser and more responsible, or so I thought. I had a great job that I enjoyed working for a dot com start-up company. I was making crazy good money for my age and so the cycle began again. It started out getting a credit card for "emergency purposes" and to help raise my credit score. Before I knew it though, I was laid off. So all the debt I had incurred in the name of "emergencies" and "charge and pay" habits was right back on my back.

I truly believe that credit now is one of the things in life I no longer can safely use. I don't possess a credit card. I have a savings account for "emergencies" and I am in the process of once again going through credit counseling. I firmly believe that a personal finance class should be required while students are in their junior or senior years of high school. A class that will teach them how to read the fine print of credit card offers and to truly learn how to choose a credit card wisely. A class that will break down the long term cost of irresponsible credit card usage and how it will impact them 10, 20 or even 30 years later in life. A class that will layout the ramifications of a low credit score.

I wish I had known at 18 what I know now about credit cards. I wish I had gone through a seminar or class in which I could learn how to choose a credit card wisely.

Responsibility

2007-08-15T21:18:00.000-07:00

For the first time in my life I am really living on a budget. I don't mean that I am rigid in where money goes but I have a good system going. The first of the month I pay a few bills, rent being the biggest and most of that paycheck. The 15th of the month, I pay everything else. I like sitting down the night of the 15th, entering everything into Quicken and submitting it through BillPay. I genuinely like the feeling of being responsible with my money. Its not like there is a ton to toss around. I mean, the ends meet but just barely. It feels good though to see that every month, they are paid and on time. I called a couple places (PG&E, car insurance) and had them move the due date to after the 15th to make it work. And it does. And it feels great.

Whoda thunk it?

Alex's hearing test went perfect last week. It was kind of cool the way they do it. They had Alex and I in a dim room that was sound proofed. On each side of us there was a speak with a glass box attached to the speaker. Inside the box there was a stuffed animal and a light. The audiologist had the ability to play the sound, activate the light illuminating the stuffed animal or both. When she testing him on hearing voices, he passed no problem. Each time she spoke, he turned to the direction the sound was coming from without prompting and without the light coming on.

When she tested him on his ability to hear tones, he stopped responding. Completely. She came in, Alex got to run around the room for a bit and then we started testing again. Same thing. She told me that it could be he is too smart to look because who cares about tones. So for the next series, when she played the tone, she turned the light on and I pointed it out to Alex. When he looked, he got a kiss, a hug and a high 5. Then we got his attention back to her through the glass in the middle and did it again. Once he got the hang of what we wanted, he did fine. She tested him at 10, 15 and 20 decibels, all passed in each of the 3 tone pitches she tested.

I didn't realize how worried I was until I had tears rolling down my face when he was responding the way he should. I am SO relieved it is not his hearing. She said that she will send the results to his Ped and we should get a call from her on Monday or Tuesday with the next step. She said off the record, he is a bright kid that probably just has no interest in talking right now. Her son had 1 word until he was 23 months. When he started talking, it was full sentences from the get go. I'm hoping that is something similar for us.

Wizetrade

2007-08-15T10:54:00.000-07:00

When I first start with the company I am at now, I was told a bunch things in regards to the stock that was part of my pay plan. I had NO stock education other than to know that people buy and sell them, that sometimes you lose money and sometimes you make money. I really wish I had seen Wizetrade then. I think I could have made a more educated decision about when to sell and when to buy.

There are so many places on the web now to learn about trading and investing. Wizetrade offers so many different educational services in regards to trading and investing. The services cover information for both the novice and the expert trader.

Its also pretty cool to be able to see the trending of a stock and its performance compared to its original prediction. Wizetrade is an awesome service that offers just about anything one could want in regards to learning more information about the securities world.

Do you hear that?

2007-08-14T20:03:00.001-07:00

Can you hear that? No? Are you sure? Really?

Its the sound of silence. The wonderful, precious, glorious sound of nothingness. No toddler crying, whining, demanding, babbling. No dog barking, begging, scratching, licking. No phone ringing. No people talking. Nothing. Sweet, pure nothingness.

I was never one to really enjoy silence until I had my son. Once I had him, there was always noise. Somewhere, even if it was only my brain going a mile a minute. Tonight, there is just bliss.

Last night was a hard night. Alex woke up screaming off and on all night. It seemed that as soon as I fell back asleep each time, he was back up screaming like someone was sticking needles in him. I can't find a cause. No fever, comfortable temperature in the room, full belly, no new foods. Trust me, I ran through the gamut in my head last night. Needless to say, this morning was very difficult to get going moving. He then had a very rough morning at daycare, I had a rough morning at work. Both of us short tempered and overall cranky.

He fell asleep early tonight, as will I. Silence is not something that I thought about prior to having him. Money, sleep, energy, health, money, money, money, yes. Silence, no. Its something I find that I crave some days. Our days are so filled between work, daycare, commuting, dinner, and bath that by the time it is over with, there is little energy to expend simply enjoying the quiet.

Cruiser bikes

2007-08-14T19:10:00.001-07:00

A couple years ago, a friend of mine told be about her new cruiser bike. I saw it and instantly fell in love. It was SO cute. I was living downtown at the time and it was easy to ride or walk to a lot of places. I decided I just had to have one. I did a lot of research online about cruiser bikes, checking out the different styles, the prices and what not. I ended up buying a Powder Blue beach cruiser made by Huffy. It was a dream to ride! I of course added a basket and a bell to it. I rode my cruiser bike all over town that summer and fall. It was super comfortable and the exercise was good for me. I found an attachment online that was made to allow a dog to run next to you. Freedom had a blast too once we got the coordination down!

Cruiser bikes are definitely not something that a hard core cyclist would ride, mainly because there aren't any gears on them so going up hills and stuff was a little harder than I was used to. Mountain bikers and BMX rider probably wouldn't enjoy the cruiser bikes either but for those of us that just ride occasionally and want to enjoy a nice Spring day.... they are perfect.

Once Alex gets big enough, I want to get something so that I can take him on a ride too. I have great visions of him and I someday riding bikes together.

iMom Robot

2007-08-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

Should I be tasked to create a new robotic invention for a company, I would have to create the iMom.

The iMom would have the following capabilities:

Should I be tasked to create a new robotic invention for a company, I would create the iMom.

The iMom would have the following capabilities:

Change a poopy diaper without fliching at the smell - regardless of what the baby had eaten the night before

Pick up all soiled clothing and instantly launder it in time to make it on the back of the child that just realized it is red shirt day - 5 minutes before the bus arrives

Prepare individual meals for each person in the home as if the dinner table was a table in a diner

Bathe one child while reading a story to another and preparing hot chocolate for a third

Utter the phrase "Just wait until your father gets home!" in 12 different languages using the child's first, middle and last name for only the most henious of infractions

Proactively catch any flying object in the home before it hits ceramic or glass

Have the ability to predictively know where the other shoe is for each child based on the child's habits and past

The iMom would stand at approximately 5'6, wear a size 12 comfortably 3 weeks out of the month and a size 14 the other week. She would have hair that could easily be styled by her children during dress up games before reverting back to the look of the day. She would also have eyes in the back of her head to be able to always say "I see what you're doing". The iMom would also perform all grocery shopping, class trips, household errands all while assisting the children with school projects that are being completed at the last minute.
The iMom retails for the low, low price of $1995.00 in addition to unconditional love, appreciation and devotion.

Racist or not? You be the judge

2007-08-13T21:42:00.000-07:00

I see how it could be taken that way upon first glance. I do, though, think that there are a lot of group crying "Racism!" without taking a further look at the ad. Was it a bonehead move to publish the ad on the part of Intel? 100% yes. Yes it was. Is it an ad that never should have seen the light of day? Yes, yes it is. Is it an ad symbolizing black men bowing to white men? No. Not at all.

Take a closer look at the ad. It is one track star multiplied in an "on your mark" position getting ready to race, to win at speed. Intel is about speed, performance and the ability to lead the pack in their technological advances. If they had the track runner in an AMD green tracksuit in that position, I would be more inclined to agree that there are hidden undertones of racism that were intended. That is not the case here.

In today's society, it seems there is always someone attempting to show how they have been wronged, oppressed, or victimized by another. Whether it is a company or an individual, whether it is an intended or unintended slight... these things do not seem to matter. They have been wronged and that is all anyone will hear about it.

When does personal accountability come into play for our perceptions? Is it possible that when I perceive society to be out to oppress me that I will look for examples until I find it? Even if there are none? Is it possible that my expectation of being discriminated against because I am female will lead me to make decisions subconsciously putting me in a place so I can find fault with others?

If we are all striving for equality, as most of us say we are, shouldn't we then be willing to give up the preferential treatment we receive for being female, black, brown, green or purple? I personally, would like to be able to apply for a job with a number. Not a name, not anything other than a number to identify myself as a candidate. Hiring managers should not be given quotas in regards to hiring any specific minority for any job. The best qualified candidate should be hired. Regardless of race, creed, sex or religion. Isn't that what the Fair Act is all about?

Unsure of what to do

2007-08-12T20:19:00.001-07:00

I never really bothered to put any effort into making my blog high on the search engines. It was just a personal blog and it meant it was mainly for me. My actual domain (bratshannon.com) has a page ranking of 3 with Google. My blog is unranked by them because it is considered a file and therefore unrankable.

My choices:
Leave things as they are, miss out on opportunities through PayPerPost and other sites.
Point my domain to my blog and move everything else to link off my blog.

I'm unsure about a couple things:
1. Will I have to go through the approval processes again for my blog on the sites I have registered with to advertise for sponsors.
2. Will my page rankings change to unrated once it is just my blog.

Ideas? Feedback? Suggestions?

Parenting decisions

2007-08-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

I've been reading a lot of parenting blogs today and it got me thinking really about what my parenting style is, what decisions I have made and what ones I will make in the future.

I suppose by most people's standards, I am a hippy-ish type of mom. Other net names for it: Crunchy, Granola, AP, Attached Parenting. I didn't set out to parent to a specific style. Heck, some of the things we are doing I didn't want to do and said I wouldn't be doing when I was pregnant.

I breastfeed my son. Yes, even though he is 15 months, he still nurses. Its good for him immune system. Its an awesome way to reconnect at the end of the day. When he decides he is down nursing, I'll quit. Until then, we are on his timeline. No one has ever gone off to college still nursing, I am sure my son won't be the first.

We cosleep. This was one I said I wouldn't do. And then I had him. The L&D process was a nightmare and I was too tired to fight with my body about putting him back in the plastic bassinet. By the time we were home from the hospital, the stage was set and we have been doing it since. Its, again, an awesome way to reconnect at the end of the day and I sleep longer because I am not having to get out of bed to nurse him.

I babywear. It makes it so much easier than having to constantly worry about whether I have the stroller with me or not. I do have a stroller and I do use it but for walks, crowded places, missed naps during errands... well, its just as easy and comfortable to put him in the sling and go.

I don't yell, spank regularly or hit. Of course there is the rare occasion of a lost temper but by and large, I try to explain my position to my son and we "discuss" things. I lead him through the motions of what needs to happen but yelling and hitting aren't things I am willing to do to my dog. How could I be willing to do them to my son?

I figure it this way... my son is only a baby right now. His sense of security, his lack of fear, his self-esteem and his feelings about the world come directly from how he is treated. I want him to know he is an intelligent, capable, good boy with the power to make decisions about his life. I want him to be raised with 10 times the amount of self esteem and self assurance I had.

Thrifty Living III

2007-08-10T21:56:00.000-07:00

It seems like everyday, my son is outgrowing something. Here is how I manage to keep him in clothes without breaking the bank.

Clothes:
Consignment, thrift, hand me downs and ebay are obvious tips. That being said... some people are against used clothes. I found that the "gently used" stores here still wanted a fortune for something that had been previously worn. I buy my son's clothes off the clearance rack. I buy next years size in the past season's selection. I get t-shirts, shorts, jeans and pajamas for anywhere from $.75 to $4 an item. Target and Walmart mark things down further and further as they sit on the clearance rack. Last fall, I bought his summer clothes for this year (in this year's size) and spent around $25 for the whole season. You have to guess on sizes of course, it also means if you are off at all, you have a whole season you can sell as new with tags on ebay or craigslist.

Mervyn's and JC Penneys also have really good semi-annual sales and I stock up on "dress" clothes for him there. Outfits for church, pictures, etc. Most of the regular play clothes though are still only $5 to $6 an item at these sales. They also have shoes for cheap too. I bought a pair of Buster Browns tennis shoes for him, normally priced $32 for $8.

BuildASign

2007-08-10T14:32:00.001-07:00

Have you ever wanted to have a company car without having to have a logo permanently attached to it?

Magnetic car signs allow you to advertise for your business a low cost, highly effective manner without permanently marking your car. Magnetic car signs canbe customized in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors allowing you to create a sign as unique as you are. It is easy and fast to create magnetic car signs through BuildASign.

BuildASign is not limited to magnetic car signs though! They also provide street, real estate and yard signs as well! Its hard to have a business without advertising these days. Let BuildASign give you a hand!

Thrifty Living Series II

2007-08-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

Some of the biggest ways I have found to save money were with lifestyle choices.

Breastfeeding:
Aside from the immunity building benefits, breastmilk is free. Its better for you and for baby. The average infant can fo through 24-32 ounces of formula daily. Infants should remain on formula for a minimum of 12 month. That's roughly 10,080 ounces of formula.

Cosleeping:
Cosleeping is the natural act of your child sleeping with its parents in the "family" bed. Safety precautions must be taken when cosleeping but following Dr. Sears precautions will keep your child safe. Cosleeping is inexpensive in 2 ways. Your family is sharing body heat allowing the temp in your house to not need to be so high. It also means not having to buy a crib. Cribs, bassinets and changing tables are often more than $100 a piece.

Restaurant Loans

2007-08-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

Starting a new business, especially a restaurant can be very costly. How does one go about doing this without having the start up funds to do so? Most owners take out restaurant loans to help the restaurant get off the ground.

Restaurant loans allows retailers to take out loans to start or improve their businesses. Because these loans are part of the cost of the business, the interest paid on the loan is tax deductible. How cool is that?

I'm not too great at cooking but if I decide to start a restaurant I'll definitely need to take out a restaurant loan.

Thrifty living series part 1- Toys

2007-08-09T19:25:00.001-07:00

I am starting a multi part series in regards to living and raising a child inexpensively. If I have learned little these last 15 months, its that kids don't HAVE to cost a lot of money.

Of course hand-me down toys are the cheapest by far and often require the least amount of energy to obtain. What about those of us though that don't have someone passing down toys?

Pillow Friends:
Pillow Friends can be made easily using the following items:
1 adult size t-shirt
1 roll of iron on hem tape
cotton stuffing
assorted bits of felt
glue gun and glue sticks

Taking the iron on hem tape and seal openings of the bottom and arms of the t-shirt. Stuff the cotton inside the the t-shirt through the opening of the neck. Once the shirt is stuffed to the desired "squishy-ness", seal the neck of the t-shirt with the tape as well.

Use the bits of felt to create the face of your new friend. Glue on the face and Viola! You have a free new pillow friend for your child to snuggle with.

Board Books:
You'll need:
cardboard
old magazines
packing tape
glue

Cut out colorful objects and glue them into place on the cardboard. The cardboard can also be covered with colored paper or construction paper if you want a more colorful book. Underneath each picture, carefully print the name of the item, the color that it is or the quantity of it. Bind each of the cardboard pieces together and you now have a new board book. These are great for teaching colors, numbers, shapes and animals. The cardboard gives them a sturdiness that makes it hard for little hands to rip.

Music Makers:
You'll need:
Empty (clean) plastic bottle or can (I prefer plastic water bottles or soda bottles with the lid)
Masking tape
Beans, rice, pennies or dried pasta

Pour the beans, rice, pennies or dried pasta into your container leaving plenty of room at the top. Seal the container closed either with the original lid or layered masking tape. If you are using the original lid, it may be a good idea to tape it closed any way to prevent opening.

You now have a new musical toy.

With all of these objects, please supervise your child when they are playing with them.

Reading Tutors

2007-08-09T19:22:00.000-07:00

Reading is such a fundamental part of life. How can a person really get through life without knowing how to read? Driving direction, cooking instructions, heck, even opening a checking account are all difficult if one cannot read. I have always been a bookworm and I hope that my son is too. I know that if he has trouble learning to read though, we will definitely look into Reading Tutors. Reading Tutors can be so beneficial for kids that aren't grasping one area or another. Maybe its the phonics, the comprehension or a combination of both. With Reading Tutors though, all that can be overcome.

2007-08-08T20:33:00.001-07:00

I need to get some new books. I am out of things to read right now. My dad and I have been book swapping and that is very cool. I found a few sites to buy them used but when all is said and done, the used price plus shipping is more than they are brand new.

Freedom has a small lump on his abdomen. I need to call the vet tomorrow and make an appointment to get it checked out. Alex's hearing test is tomorrow morning. I need to make a dentist appointment for myself too for a cleaning. So little time and so many things to do. Sometimes I feel like I need a personal assistant!

Disneyworld Vacations

2007-08-07T14:11:00.001-07:00

I recently took my son to Bodega Bay as part of our very first vacation. Because he is only 15 months old, I wanted to do something that would be both relaxing yet fun. The drive down was nice, its only a couple of hours each way and he slept a good portion of it, thankfully. I can't wait until he gets older and all the vacations we can go on then. I am of course looking forward to his first trip to Disneyland and then later to Disneyworld. I think when the time comes that we go to Disneyworld, we'll get a deal through Disney vacation rentals. Their prices are more than fair and it looks like a great way to vacation!

2007-08-07T12:30:00.000-07:00

Alex has a hearing test that is taking place on Thursday morning. I'm not too concerned but I am grateful we have a doctor that is taking proactive measures to keep my baby well.

Work is going well. The ramping up for this job sure is a steep ramp. Some days I feel like it is all I can do just to maintain the brakes on the ramp. :)

I am getting to see a lot of very cool things though in it. I obviously can't talk about them per company policy but man oh man are they cool.

Mortgages in California

2007-08-06T20:51:00.000-07:00

There is so much talk happening these days in regards to the current financial climate. Most of it is centered around investments such as mortgages.

In California mortgages are being defaulted on at a rapid pace. Some of this may be due to variable rates or interest only loans. A lot of it appears to be lack of education to the buyers taking out the mortgage loans.

How can you go about owning a home though without taking out a mortgage? One must take out a mortgage unless you win the lottery. Or is there another way?

I have often thought about moving to Arizona. Housing is cheaper and a good friend lives there but it seems the same thing is happening to Arizona mortgages as well.

2007-08-06T20:24:00.000-07:00

I hate how the weekends go by so fast! It seems like work, work, work and hardly any time for family.

I've read several articles lately regarding parents not parenting. Kids dying from abuse, neglect, abandonment. It makes me so sick inside. I don't understand.

2007-08-06T19:28:00.000-07:00

Everyone can always use the opportunity to make a little money, right? Well a friend of mine on another blogging site told me about this great service, Pay-Per-Post. All you need is a blog and a PayPal account! Basically, once you have signed up and gotten approved, you get the opportunities to post about all the great services and sites on the net. You write up blog entries about these services for money! Once you get your posts approved, they pay you. I am so glad that I found it.

I have been thinking of new ways to spend the money I earn already. I can't decide if I want to say it all and take Alex somewhere fabulous or if I want to use it monthly for little treats instead. You really should go check it our for yourself. I honestly think this is the best way for advertisers to get their word out and for bloggers to make money. I am so glad that I found it! Really, if you think about it... what have you got to lose? Nothing! Its just a great way to earn a little cash and with Christmas coming up in a few months, its just in time!

2007-08-06T06:15:00.000-07:00

Its been a great week off. Alex and I got to spend loads of time together playing and snuggling. Our roof was being done all week so it meant a lot of late naps for him and very early mornings for both of us. We went to Bodega Bay on Monday and he had a blast. He is so silly and goofy. I am very lucky to have him.

Back to work today. Yuck!

2007-07-27T21:36:00.001-07:00

AP is an approach, rather than a strict set of rules. It's actually the style that many parents use instinctively. Parenting is too individual and baby too complex for there to be only one way. The important point is to get connected to your baby, and the baby B's of attachment parenting help. Once connected, stick with what is working and modify what is not. You will ultimately develop your own parenting style that helps parent and baby find a way to fit – the little word that so economically describes the relationship between parent and baby.

Taken from: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T130300.asp

2007-07-25T20:07:00.000-07:00

Alex has had a cold all week, it actually started Friday afternoon. Its fairly gross. Green snot and crap. Ah, the joys of motherhood.

I go on vacation next week since daycare is closed so I am looking forward to that. Saturday, we have a birthday party to go to for a friend that has fraternal autistic twins. I can't believe the boys are already 5. Sunday, church and dinner with dad. Monday, I am taking Alex and Freedom to Bodega Bay. Wednesday, we are going up to the foothills to go horseback riding and visit with an old friend. Thursday he has his 15 month appointment and shots. Saturday is a work picnic deal.

I was planning on delaying the MMR but the more I hear about Measles and Mumps popping up, the more scared I am to delay. ~~I will be delaying Polio until he is 2 at least because its a live friggin vaccine. I can't stomach the thought of injecting my baby with the Polio virus. Not at this young.~~ NVM - my vax knowledge was wrong I hate making choices about vax. It really sucks. If I get him vaxed and he is later diagnosed with autism, I will always wonder if it was the vaccination. If I don't and he gets measles, mumps or rubella, I will kill myself with guilt for not vaxing him. The link between autism and vaccines is tenuous at best. The 3 diseases it protects against are real. If he was not in daycare, I would totally delay but I don't get to pick who or what he is exposed to.

2007-07-22T10:09:00.001-07:00

Maybe its because blogging has become so popular, maybe it is just that companies are looking to cut advertising costs. Either way, there are lots of opportunities out there for bloggers to make money. I am in the process of getting approval from one and I just found another called Blogsvertise. Heck, the way I see it, the more products I can blog about, the more I will know about what is on the market. Not to mention making a little money in the process!

2007-07-21T23:08:00.000-07:00

I am a very blessed and lucky person. Sometimes I fail to realize it and I get caught up in the day to day petty things. I have a nice home to rent, a car that for its age runs very well, a beautiful intelligent child, an awesome dog despite his neurotic tendencies and a lot of friends that love me. I am part of a number of families, families that accept Alex and I no matter what, families that will help me raise Alex to adulthood.

This message brought to you in the name of gratitude.

2007-07-17T21:19:00.000-07:00

Man, does my kid have a temper.

We're talking a tantrum over the smallest things. All. the. time. Nanette put him on a time out for it today. I'm not sure I agree with that. My take on it is this.

He is throwing a fit to express anger, frustration or hurt feelings. He is expressing his feelings. Granted it is not in a pleasant way, nor an acceptable way but he is communicating. I don't want to shut that down. I do though want to start teaching him that expressing emotions is fine, good and healthy. Expressing them like THAT is not ok. Its not ok to subject everyone to your fit. Go in your room and be mad. Kick, scream and jump up and down all you want in there. Don't though, come yell at me.

He is obviously too young to explain this rationally to. Its not a need that is not being met. Its a want, or its anger. He wants to stay outside longer. He wants to go in the neighbor's yard. He wants to not take a bath. He is angry Freedom actually ate the cookie he handed him. He is angry that I am doing the dishes. Things like that.

I'll be glad if when ever he starts talking and can actually tell me what he wants.

2007-07-16T19:56:00.000-07:00

Sooooo....

Saturday night, Alex's naps had been screwed up all day and he was asleep by 7 at the latest. This of course meant he woke up at 6:30 yesterday morning.I figured, screw it, let's go grocery shopping. Winco is not a bad place to shop if you go before the scummy people wake up. Its cheap as all get out too. I got all the groceries for the next two weeks for $65. He and I putzed around here for awhile, went and a visited with a friend and her partner. He fell out not too long after dinner but refused to sleep. He has started stamping his legs up and down and yelling at me when he gets mad/frustrated/impatient. Its so cute and its hard not to laugh at him. At one point, I joined in with him. He stopped and stared at me like I was crazy. I figure if I can't beat him, I'll join him.

I left work at lunch today. I have had something in my eye the last few days. It started Friday night. So Saturday morning, I got a brand new pair of contacts out. It was still irritated. I flushed out my eye with saline, then with water. Still bugging me. And to top it off, after awhile, it makes me cranky! My nose starts running and my eye is watering and ICK. I went in today to the eye doctor and he said an eye lash was growing upward from the bottom lid and irritating the eye. He plucked it and it felt like it was gone. This evening the feeling came back. So I am in my glasses hoping maybe, my eyes just need a break from my contacts. Since I was home early though, I made homemade pizza and took the boys for a walk.

2007-07-13T21:50:00.000-07:00

Tired. Sunburnt.

We had our celebration event for work today. The one I planned. It went well. I did it at a local waterpark that also has mini gold, laser tag, go carts and video games. People had fun. The slides were fun. It would have been even more fun if it had been closed to the public. Unfortunately that takes many more people and money that I had to work with. I'm definitely burnt on my nose. It was way fun though.

2007-07-10T16:12:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a busy couple of weeks. On Sunday, July 1, Alex woke up with a fever. During the day I kept him on Advil but by late afternoon it had spiked to 105.4. Yes, you are reading that right. 105.4. I called Kaiser to see if they wanted to see him right away. We headed for the ER only to be told that well... he has no symptoms, just treat the fever and see his regular doctor tomorrow. Back home we went, he was pretty miserable, I was pretty worried. We saw a doctor on Monday, only to be told the same thing. The fever continued Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday morning; ranging from 101 to the 104 tempatures. He was, of course, a very unhappy cranky camper. By Wednesday night, the fever was gone and it was like nothing had happened at all.

I took him to daycare on Thursday, called to check on him after being at work for an hour. Apparently a rash had broken out on his face, so it was time to go get him. As I drove to pick him up, I called Kaiser again to request an appointment. Something was just not right. By the time I got to his daycare to pick him up, the rash was all over his back and tummy. He was very sleepy but not itching or really anything else. He slept most of that afternoon before his appointment. We found out as his appointment that he had Roseola. It used to be called the 3 day measles.

He is fine now and all is well in the world of Alex, but, boy, was that scary!

I took him to an aerial fireworks show even though he wasn't feeling too hot and he loved the bright lights. The show was great and he had a good time, or at least as good as could be expected. I tend to forget just how young he was last year. Heck, last year he slept through the whole thing!

2007-07-07T22:08:00.000-07:00

Small rant about stupid pet owners...

So the boys and I went on our walk. It was nice not to try to maneuver the stroller and Freedom around at the same time. Alex doesn't like being in the Mei Tai when I have it on my chest because he can't see out so normally its the stroller. The walk was nice until all of a sudden a Pit comes charging us, barking his head off. Mind you his house was a good 100 feet from where we were. I yanked Freedom into a sit stay position and put my other arm around Alex on my back. Meanwhile, the stupid pet owners (SPO) are yelling in a sing song voice Bruiser, comere Bruiser... come on honey. And they tell me Oh its ok, he's FRIENDLY! I'm like My dog's not!!!!!!! At this point their dog lunged on Freedom who fought back, of course. As they mosey on over like a Sunday stroll. Yeah uh HI. Come get your fucking unleashed SO not nice dog. I sorta kinda have my hands full here you dumbass! SPO finally comes to get Bruiser and take him away. Freedom is limping again, Alex is crying and they (there were 4 freaking adults sitting outside) were like oh gee... he's never done that before. teeheehee Soooooooorry

I think Freedom hurt the same leg that has been bothering him for the last 6 months. There is no fur missing or anything like that so I doubt its a new injury but it was a sprain that had JUST started to heal. Alex is obviously ok. Yet one more reason to wear him than have him in the stroller. If the either of the dogs had hurt him, I'd be in jail for murdering the SPO at this point. Freedom is not dog aggressive like that UNLESS he gets charged and he is leashed. I don't for a minute believe that this has never happened before with their dog. Freedom was protecting Alex and I from this charging dog that easily outweighed him. He is a good protector, my boy is. Needless to say THAT is not a route we will go on again.

2007-06-28T21:53:00.000-07:00

I worked late last night doing some reports for work for a meeting this morning and I paid for it all day. I am so tired and there is so much to do. I can't seem to manage the cooking, cleaning, laundry, gardening AND working full time. I feel like I need one day a week off to get things done around the house and well... that's not something feasible at work. I did manage to get the kitchen cleaned up while dinner cooked and the lawn mowed after Alex went down. But still... Its just too much. Alex has started "helping" around the house. Unfortunately his version of helping is undoing everything I just got done doing.

Birthday party for a friend this weekend. YAY! I am not sure how lonq we can stay though with it being in the evening. Alex has a tendency to fall out Sunday nights but I definitely want to see them.

Mom called today and said she wanted to spend some time with Alex and I this weekend so we are going to McKinley park on Saturday. They have a nice duck pond and a great playground. I'll bring Freedom so he can play too.

2007-06-27T12:02:00.000-07:00

*Yawn* I have been sitting here yawning all freaking morning. Big yawns where my eyes water. I think I am going to try the Pepsi with Ginseng in it at lunch. I need a serious kick.

The last couple weeks has been off and on a pain for getting Alex to bed. A post I read reminded me about this. Our routine has been dinner, play (inside or out- ZOMG dirt!), bath (ZOMG soap!), baby massage, book, song, snuggles, sleep. He nurses through the book, the song and the snuggles, usually he is asleep before the song. Its been like this for nearly a year. Lately though, he has been fighting sleep SO bad. He turns into the whiney, fussy, unhappy little booger. Nothing I do is right, everything is wrong. All that. Monday night it took, no exaggeration, 3 HOURS to get him to fall asleep. It means I have no downtime, no break, no ME. Also, it means he is exhausted the next morning and has to be woken up to leave the house on time. He gets the missed sleep back at daycare but still. He needs to sleep AT NIGHT. I have had lengthy conversations with him in regards to this issue however he is choosing to, at this time, not use any of my suggestions. Little turd.

2007-06-25T21:37:00.001-07:00

We're still here. Just very busy with work and life and just everything.

Alex is getting so big. He can run and walk. He says Mama, go, car, juice and no. He can sign milk and all done. He is just amazing to me.

Work is well, work. Its has its moments. I am grateful that I have a job with such an outstanding company though. I am truly very lucky to have benefits for my son, a roof over my head and food on our table. For that, I go in each day and try to do my best. Hey, that's all anyone can ask for right?

2007-06-24T21:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Alex,

When you threw your dinner to Freedom, of course he ate it. I'm sorry you didn't like your scrambled eggs tonight. When we get gassed out of the bedroom tonight, please remember this next time you feel the urge to feed your brother.

Love,

Mom

Dear Alex,

Thanks for giving me food tonight! ILU! Its weird though. All of a sudden there is this foul stench wherever I sit. What's up with that?

Love,

Freedom

2007-06-24T12:15:00.000-07:00

Alex and I went to Rachel's last night and did the photo shoot for Mother Culture. Seeing all her photos around her house... she is an amazing photographer. I wish I had a 1/4 of her talent. And her equipment. I think that 98% of her photos comes from her talent but that 2% from her camera could really benefit my pictures. I'm curious to see the pictures. I want to have one printed for Alex's baby book. It was nice to hang out with her and her husband. Alex and Ava (her daughter, 18ish months) played a lot too. It was just nice.

He got his hair cut yesterday. My baby now looks like a little boy. I had put it off and put it off because I wanted him to keep the wispy curls in the back and stuff but it was hanging in his eyes so it was time. I was NOT impressed with the cut, they hacked a chunk off the front. It looks like there is an area totally missing now. I'll get pictures later, but if I had wanted it to look like that, I would have cut it myself. I know it will grow back but that was nearly 14 months worth of growth as it was!

The house is mostly cleaned, the last load of laundry is in the dryer and most the errands are done. It must be a Sunday afternoon.

2007-06-19T20:28:00.000-07:00

Oy. Vey.

He is asleep. Thank you, God. I am not sure I have ever truly looked forward to going back to work.

He is sick and its making him miserable. We took a nap this afternoon and when we got up he was doing the hysterical crying thing. He didn't want to be held, or to nurse, or a drink or to go back to sleep. I figured maybe he wanted a snack. I got him a couple of the Mother's Animal Circus cookies (the pink and white ones - yes I realize I just failed at parenting wtfever), one for each hand. He takes it and hands it to Freedom. Who eats it. Duh. He is a dog and a garbage gut at that. Alex screams. If I hadn't seen the whole thing as it happened, I might have gone after Freedom for stealing food. Alex realizes he has another cookie, takes a bite and hands it to Freedom. Repeat previous reactions. We did this with about 8 cookies before Alex finally got the concept of "Hand cookie to dog- dog eats cookie. I have no cookie." He calmed down after that but geez... I am ready to go back to work.

He slept like shit last night. I think he woke up screaming, not crying, screaming every 45 minutes or so. This of course meant I woke up every 45 minutes or so. Needless to say, I will be happy when the anti-biotic kicks in, even if it does cause Thrush. I'll take Thrush over this any day.

2007-06-18T21:50:00.000-07:00

My boy is sick. I hate it. His fever only goes down or away if he is on Motrin/Advil. He fell out several times today just screaming at me. Oh, how lovely THAT was. He fell asleep early (for him) so I put him in our bed and he woke up about 30 minutes later just wailing. He was digging in his ears too. He couldn't get comfy, nothing was right. I finally got him back to sleep and we have a dr appointment in the morning. Either he has an ear infection or a bug or something but... I want to get him checked out. Its not normal for him to get fevers like he has had today. He runs low grades when he is sick but the 103.4 one scared me

2007-06-16T23:29:00.000-07:00

I am feeling pretty smart and capable right now. Cars are not my thing. I know to put gas in them, how to check the fluids and to take it in every 3 months/ 3k miles. And that's about it. Well my cigarette lighter stopped working on Monday. Not a big deal right? Well, for Shannon it is. Since I am in my car so much, I really rely on my adapter to charge my battery on my phone. I also have a car adapter for my pump. Both things neeeeeeeeeed to be plugged in. So I did lots of research online, narrowed it down to one of 6 possible fuses that might be the right one. Unplugged them all one at time and they were fine. No broken U thing at all. So I took the whole ashtray assembly out and looked and one of the wires has broke. It literally looked like it had been cut. I bought electrical tape but there was nothing to really hold it there. I found a Soldering gun though and soldered the damn thing. I am very proud. I feel like Tim the tool man Taylor. Except what I did works. If you are a guy, I realize that is no big deal. For me though, its the same feeling I had when I bought my drill. ROHROHROH!! Power tools!

I am meeting Rachel next Saturday to do the photo shoot to be part of her exhibit. The idea she explained to me today is so cool. I will have on a men's business shirt and tie and be nursing Alex. She wants to depict the balance between being a working mom and breastfeeding. She called me Supermom today. It felt really good to hear it. I forget how easily I could have turned to formula. I forget that many people would say (falsely)Alex's failure to latch was the reason formula was invented. I forget sometimes, how much I wanted to give up and give in. And I forget to be proud that I didn't.

I did though get my dad some decent stuff. A remote control race car from Alex to Grandpa so that they can play. My dad loves race cars and I thought it would be fun for the boys to play together. He can run it, Alex can chase it. I also got him some summer clothes that according to Barbara, he is in desperate need of. Not a ton but 3 pairs of shorts and 4 shirts. It feels good to actually celebrate Father's Day this year.

Alex has been watching me too closely. For the last 6 months or so, when he gets into something he is not supposed to, I clap once and point and say no. Well... now when I do something he doesn't like, he claps once, points and says no (or his version of it). I am seriously in trouble when he starts talking. I have a feeling he is going to take after me and learn the hard way how to filter his thoughts from becoming sentences said aloud.

2007-06-10T19:50:00.000-07:00

Alex loves playing outside. He is not too sure about using his pool yet but he has fun splashing Freedom. He is becoming such a little boy. He is into dirt, sticks, cars and anything that can fit in his mouth. He runs all over the place and has decided that everything lower than 3 feet off the ground must be his to get into.

2007-06-09T22:28:00.000-07:00

He may be cool, but he got his grace from me. We were playing outside last night and he tried to use the ball to stand up on. He fell forward and smashed his head into the concrete. Poor kid. I felt so bad for him. It makes my head hurt to look at it.

Work is going to be super busy next week. I am and I'm not looking forward to it. I like that it will be busy to the point of chaos, I hate how unsure of it all I am feeling. I also got tasked with planning an event for 75 people to celebrate the launch of one of our applications. I got most of it planned out yesterday but I am waiting on approval for it all before I can book anything. It makes me nervous because the VP of our business group will be seeing all of it. On the other hand it sure as hell beats testing and validation.

Another friend on LJ posted about how she didn't feel like she fit into LJland anymore. At first, I didn't really relate but after thinking a lot the last couple days, I do relate. A lot of people on my friends list are there because we met in a drama community. I'm not into the drama anymore. I don't want to watch one person tear apart another. Its one thing to snark someone without being mean to them directly, its entirely different to say shitty things to them directly.

Our perceptions are based off of our life experiences. You may perceive something to be the way it is because that it the only way you have ever experienced it. Someone else may have had the opposite experiences and will therefore have the opposite perceptions. It doesn't make either side wrong or right, stupid or smart. It means that they have their own opinions. I am a DemPub. I believe in a lot of the things the Democrats stand for and some that the Republicans stand for. It means I have a brain and I choose to use it to create my political views. It means that my perceptions create my views based on my experiences. Yours may be entirely different. I don't fault you for that, I don't think you are stupid, I don't make numerous posts about the one thing you shared your views on. I do though respect you and I may disagree with your opinion but I don't berate or be shitty to you.

2007-06-04T21:04:00.000-07:00

Alex has had a cough for about 3 weeks and it was starting to sound phlemy, so I called Kaiser and they had an appointment open with his Ped. Man, she is cool. I just really like her and gel with her. Its nice to not be pushed into either lying about how I am doing things with him or being lectured like I am 3. She respects my parenting choices and I appreciate that more than she knows.

His cough is ok, I was worried after the pneumonia thing in January that it might be turning into that again. Its not. Just a lingering cough and she recommended some funky Gua--------------- medication that is over the counter for it. He crashed on the way home and woke up in the sweetest mood. I brought him outside to play for awhile and I was sitting on the grass watching him and he came and sat next to me. Once he settled down, the birds started coming back to the feeders so we bird watched together. It was like hanging out with a friend. I can't wait to take him camping in August. Last year was the first year Freedom and I didn't go in like 6 years so it will be fun to have a new addition on the great birthday get out of town trip.

He also figured out how to stand up without pulling himself up on something so I think our crawling days are coming to a close. His little knees are calloused so I hope that goes away too.

He's asleep and I am headed that way too.

2007-06-03T14:26:00.000-07:00

Alex slept from 9PM til 10AM this morning. He woke up to eat a few times but wasn't ready to get up until 10. I thought for sure this meant he wouldn't take a nap this afternoon. On the way home from the grocery store he fell asleep though and slept through the transfer to bed and is still asleep almost an hour later. I really hope its just a growth spurt and not him coming down with something.

We met with Rachel, the woman from Mother Culture, yesterday. She is really cool. She brought her daughter Ava (18 months) and Ava and Alex had a great time. They chased each other around the house and played and laughed. It was nice to sit and visit without worrying about the kids being bored or breaking something. At one point Ava saw Alex nursing and decided it was time for her to nurse too. I think I'll like working with her and there is potential for a good friendship too.

Work is work. I had to have my laptop rebuilt on Thursday which meant reinstalling all my stuff on Friday. I can't tell if this week will be busy or dead. We have a major workshop the following week in SF. I'll be driving down Monday and Wednesday and I think Tuesday I will "work from home", which translate to I will work a little and play with Alex a lot.

I've been looking at cars. I don't want a new one. It must have a/c, 4 doors and power locks and windows. That leaves the market pretty open. Realistically, I probably won't get anything until the end of the year or the Explorer dies. Whatever comes first. That makes the inner child in me whine.

The backyard is mowed, the grocery shopping done and the last of the laundry in the dryer. It means its time to go veg out while the rugrat finishes his nap.

2007-05-28T19:31:00.000-07:00

Summer is definitely here. It is freaking hot today.

We went to Nanette's neighbor's house for a potluck of sorts for the holiday. YUMMY food. Alex ate a ton. Played a ton. Is now sound asleep. He managed to fall asleep on the 5 minute drive home. Of course this means he will be up at like midnight to play.

I have everything packed up for tomorrow and ready to go. I know I am finishing 4 days off but geez it went by fast!

I have major car envy. Of everyone. Part of it stems from my desire to drive something that is not half my age old. Part of it is from the gas mileage I get (12-15 mpg). Part of it is from wanting something NEW. None of these are proper motivators to go buy a new car. Ideally, someone will drop the keys and the title to a Civic Hybrid on my front porch and say "Its yours. Love, anonymous". Given that its probably not going to happen... I have been looking at Kias, Hyuandi and the like. My payment needs to be low enough that it doesn't feel like a rent payment. I would love to get an SUV hybrid but yeah... I would love to be a size 2 also.

2007-05-18T20:13:00.000-07:00

Work sponsored a Bone Marrow registration for today. I went into the office specifically to do that. I have wanted to be in the registry for quite awhile but it was a $65 fee to sign up last time I checked at the blood bank. I would love to be able to help someone out like that. I had a meeting from 7-8 and then another from 9-11, did the bone marrow thing at 11:30 and then left to take Alex to the Dr. Seriously, that is my kind of schedule.

There are whales at the port in West Sacramento. A mother and her calf. I would love to take Alex to see them, but I highly doubt I will. It just seems like driving to a train wreck for some reason to me. Its a mom and her baby, both are scared, tired, hungry and confused. Driving to see them just feels wrong.

Little man is asleep, I am going to catch up on email and then head to bed myself. Happy Friday!

2007-05-13T21:48:00.000-07:00

Alex took his first steps this week. He is slowly getting braver about it. He managed to make 5 in a row tonight into Grandma's arms! He is so proud of himself with each one he takes too. He is babbling a lot more as well. I am hopeful that this is a sign that talking is in the near future.

He is having tons of fun with his new toys, the ride-on toy that Grandpa and Grandma Barbara gave him is a hit. He likes to push it around and when I sit him on it and push him around he laughs and laughs.

Amazing

2007-04-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

A year ago tonight, I laid down in bed, very uncomfortably pregnant (40 weeks 6 days) resigned to the fact that I would be induced. Feeling like my body had no idea how to birth the son it grew. Little did I know that in about 7 hours from now, my water would break and I would start have contractions.

Amazing.

This of course would lead to a very eventful day, an eventful night and a blessedly eventful year.

2007-04-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

Dinner at my dad's was good. It was nice and mellow, the boys had fun playing together. When I got home last night, I finally got enough inspiration and desire to make a birthday movie for Alex. Gosh, I can't believe he is almost a year old. I found an application this morning that I was able to burn the movie to a DVD so I'll play it at his party too, it looks really good on the main TV, especially since its the first one I've made. Annie got to see it this afternoon and said it made her all teary-eyed. :)

Annie, Sandy and the girls came over. It was nice to have a house full of people and just visit and enjoy their company. Both Freedom and Alex are worn out from playing with the girls so they are snoozing. The birds are singing in the backyard and things are just peaceful and relaxed.

Happy Tax day

2007-04-15T21:16:00.000-07:00

It will never cease to amaze me how much I love him. How I would do anything for him and not think twice. I want so much for him in life. I want more for him than I have ever wanted for myself. More as in not material stuff but happiness and contentment. More as in wisdom, love and compassion. I don't want him to be as cynical as I am. I want him to grow up knowing I am always right here, that I won't let him down like my mom has me.

I want to be remembered as a good mom. I don't care about how well I do at work. How much money I have or the assets I own. I just want to be remembered for loving my son and doing the best I can do for him.

2007-04-11T20:41:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone had a great Easter! Alex and I went to church in themorning and then to Nanette's for dinner with her family. It was a nice lowkey Easter. The Easter bunny (bunnies actually) of course visited Alex and he got quite a few toys, a couple videos, including Baby Signs, and some books.

We are working on Baby sign language right now. More pictures and videos to come soon!

2007-04-06T22:54:00.000-07:00

To whomever is viewing my site from the organization "Larry Rubenstein" with an IP of75.56.23.102 you are becoming a bit stalkerish. There is nothing to see here... move along. If you are someone that knows me... email me and I can give you better updates. Nothing too indepth or personal is published here.

***ETA: Nevermind! Mystery solved!

My how time flies

2007-03-29T20:54:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe my baby will be 11 months old in just a few days. It seems like just a couple months ago I was waddling out of work to go on maternity leave and eagaerly anticipating the prince's arrival.

Everything here is copacetic. Alex and I have quickly gotten into a good routine. The days are long but it does make our time together very precious. I get long hugs and pats when I pick him up at daycare. I do love him so much. I didn't really know what love was until I had my son.

Work is going well. I have transitioned into my new role rather smoothly. I am learning tons and the feedback I have gotten so far has been good. I am still hoping to hit the lottery but until then this is ok too.

2007-03-14T21:20:00.000-07:00

New job + new house = stressed Shannon

I moved a couple weeks ago. My mom and I decided since she wasn't doing my daycare we wanted our own spaces back. I do love my new house. I managed to unpack everything in 3 days flat.` Its just new and new routines and well... new.

I started a new position on Monday. I think I will like. Its all new stuff (same company) so there is a huge learning curve but I think it will be interesting when I know what I am doing. I like my team, I am in the lab all day and its all guys which makes things interesting. Its just all new too.

Alex is good. Thriving, growing, learning, moving. 10.5 months is a FUN age. He has so much personality and loves to laugh. I do love that kid.

random update

2007-01-20T20:22:00.000-08:00

Alex:
Is standing with support and can shuffle around the coffee table
Has croup - poor baby
Has 8 (!!!) teeth
Still nursing like a champ

Me:
Found an apartment to move in to in March
Got hired for a new position at work
Reunited with dad and brother (woohoo)

Life is good, we just keep keepin on. I am proud of my baby and proud of myself, as a mother and a person. I feel very content and that is a nice change.

You know....

2007-01-10T20:05:00.000-08:00

I am getting very tired of constantly being the one to turn the other cheek and work a program. I am very grateful for the tools that I have, the ability I have to make amends and not hold resentments however this shit gets old sometimes. I feel like there are so many people in my life that are constantly pushing, pushing, pushing and I constantly maintain my boundaries and do the "right thing". I'd really like for once to be the one that pushes back.

If you are reading this and considering pushing me past the point you have, consider this a warning. You are treading into dangerous territory. I am a mother now and because of that I WILL lash out if you so much as attempt to screw with my child.

Happy Holidays!

2007-01-03T06:26:00.000-08:00

Our holidays were nice. Alex and I got quite a bit of much needed snuggle and giggle time. He was quite the spoiled baby for Christmas. He got a Tickle Me Elmo TMX. Omigosh, the thing is hilarious! Lots of LeapFrog toys and of course, tons of clothes. He is such a happy baby and is learning so much every day.

I do so adore that boy!

Currently:
Crawling
Babbling
Standing up with assistance from the furniture
4 teeth fully in on the bottom, 4 teeth coming in on the top

2006-12-14T18:26:00.000-08:00

I know that money is tight for everyone right now between holidays and personal circumstances. That being said there is a program in dire need of help. Birth and Beyond in Rancho Cordova will not have enough toys to distribute due to a clerical error. Apparently the group that normal provides the toys for them to distribute to children in need erased their entry and there is nothing left to give them. They currently have 10% of what they need.

Please help them, they are asking for new, unwrapped toys to distribute. If you are local you can drop them off at the center or to me and I will take them out there. If you are not local, I'll pay for priority shipping either to them directly or to my house and I will take them there. Just tell me the actual shipping cost and your paypal addy.

News story

He is becoming such a big boy!

2006-12-06T19:53:00.000-08:00

Since this last weekend, Alex has hit some major milestones! (And his 7 month birthday.)

He can:
Blow raspberries
move into a sitting position
move forward crawling on all 4's (he skipped the battle crawl)
say his first word (although he doesn't know what it means)

He also is cutting 3 (!!) teeth. His 2 incisors and 1 front tooth. We went and saw Santa on Monday. Instead of crying like most kids, he laughed at him. We also had pictures taken for our Christmas card. Unfortunately, due to someone (and she knows who she is) invading our space, I will not be posting pictures but he is dang cute!

I cannot believe how quickly the time has flown. It seems like just last week I was complaining about him never coming out.

Alex, my love, I hope one day you read this. I hope you know how special you are, that you can do ANYTHING in life you choose to do. I hope that you know how much you are loved. Not just by me but by our entire extended family. I want you to know, son, that because of you, this world is a better place.

2006-12-02T22:14:00.000-08:00

Alex learned how to give zerberts today. We spent the afternoon with him zertberting me and me lauuuuuuuuuuuuuughing.

God, I love that kid. Thank You for giving him to me.

Happy belated Thanksgiving.

2006-11-25T21:41:00.000-08:00

We had a quiet mellow turkey day. We went to a friend's house and celebrated with her family. Alex has decided that sweet potatoes are a good thing. He is sick with a cold and cutting his top teeth and I am just getting over a cold so things were just mellow. Its been a nice 4 day weekend so far. I am working on our wishlists and I can't wait to go Christmas shopping for him. I want to spoil the crud out of him. Money is really tight but... I'd rather pay a few late charges and be an awesome first time Santa.

I decided to start a tradition with him. I am going to buy one toy that I would buy for him and donate it with his name on it to Toys for Tots. When he gets older, he and I can pick out the toy to be donated together. I want him to know how lucky and blessed we are and that it truly is better to give than receive.

Alex was dedicated at church last weekend. It was a beautiful prayer. It felt good to be there and good to have it done. I do so love my little boy and I cannot wait to see the life God has planned for him.

Notice to readers

2006-11-12T13:15:00.000-08:00

I laid my son down for a nap today and started checking my site logs. Being a mom keeps me busy and I do not have time to maintain my site as I used to. I discovered that there has been an invasion of my privacy. Because of this, I have removed all pictures of my son and will not be posting any in the future.

If you have any questions regarding this, please feel free to email me. If you are someone that feels they are entitled to pictures of Alex because of your relationship to us, please let me know and I will get an actual print to you or email you photos.

Thank you for your understanding.

Happy 6 month birthday, baby!

2006-11-02T12:37:00.000-08:00

You have changed my life. In so many ways but mostly, you have just made me grateful for each and every minute I have with you. I love you, son.

2006-10-10T22:16:00.000-07:00

I feel good. Exhausted, but good. I have spent the last couple days tie-dying, washing, photoing and stocking. My store is now sotcked and ready to sell! Offical selling starts Friday.

I tie-dyed just about everything but the kitchen sick! There are spirals, stripes, circles and random stuff. All the colors came out SO gorgeous and nice. I am anxious to see how this goes.

Go see! Sweet Alex

2006-10-04T20:01:00.000-07:00

I am still here and still alive. We are well. Things are just very busy between keeping up with work, my son and life in general. Alex is perfect. He has 2 teeth on the bottom, he smiles and laughs and snuggles. He is a complete gift from God. I am more than lucky to know him.

I am trying to kick off a work at home mom store.

Take a peek if you are interested.

2006-08-28T05:37:00.000-07:00

I am getting old! I turned 30 on Friday. It amazes me when I realize how quickly time is flying by.

Alex is cutting his two bottom teeth, rolling over and in general, just being the light of my life. I love that child so much more than I ever knew was possible.

2006-08-14T06:47:00.000-07:00

I honestly had no idea what love was until I met this guy...

Now that I know him... my life will never be the same. He is literally my world, my life and my heart. His giggles make everything ok and a smile from him turns a bad day into a good one. When I walk in the door to him... everything else can get left behind. The word 'love' is such an understatement for the emotion I feel for him.

update pictures of the little man

2006-08-08T07:02:00.000-07:00

Pictures removed

Back to work

2006-08-03T06:15:00.000-07:00

I really thought that I was the type of person that would want to work even after I had kids. I didn't think I would have a problem leaving every day to work outside the home. I honestly thought that I would crave the adult interaction, the corporate setting and the chaos of climbing the ladder. Since having Alex, I am finding I am simply not that type of person.

I am contemplating going into the home daycare business, loan processing at home... something, anything I can do and have more time with my son while still earning enough to live. Preferably, something I can do while having Alex with me.

I cry every morning on my way to work, I am distracted while I am at work and itching for the day to fly by so I can run home to see him. This mommyhood stuff is hard work but leaving him every day is impossible.

2006-07-20T01:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure anyone reads this anymore. I'm not even sure it matters if anyone ever did.

I love being a mom. I adore my son. Every smile, every coo, every giggle.... it makes my heart swell up. As much as I loved Freedom and as close to a kid as he was.... it is SO not even comparable to having a child. I spend most days watching him, soothing his colic, laughing with his expressions and savoring his giggles. I spend most nights dreaming of his future, worrying about his best interests and trying to muddle my way through parenthood.

And I wouldn't have it any other way. In 11 weeks, he has come so far. He is hitting all his developmental milestones and growing so well. God was far too good to me when He gave me this child.

I have the cutest kid ever!

2006-07-17T00:58:00.000-07:00

And I DO mean ever.

2006-07-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

I took Alex in today for his 2 month checkup and his shots. He is up to 10 pounds, 13 ounces. He is 24 inches in length and his head circumference is 15 inches.so he has gained 3 pounds, 3 ounces and 2.5 inches in length since birth. Go boobjuice! He is in the 20th percentile for weight and 88th percentile in height. The weight one though is based on a formula feed growth chart and they tend to be fatter so... he is right in line with where he should be.

I went back and forth on the decision to vaccinate or not. I did as much research as my brain could handle. I talked to his doctor (whom I adore) at great length about it this morning. My two main concerns were the link between Autism and vaccinations and the possibility of him contracting Polio from the vaccine. The Polio issue is no longer prevalent as they changed the vaccine. The Autism link is tenuous at best. I weighed the percentage of complications from the vaccines versus the possibility of him getting the diseases he was vaxed against. I went ahead with the shots. I cried during them, he cried during them. It was a really shitty experience all the way around. I kinda feel like if I vaccinated him and then something went wrong I am screwed. At the same time, I don't vaccinate him and he contracts something that could have been prevented, I am screwed too. Its hard being the mom sometimes.

I got lots of comments on how cute he is and how happy I look. He is damn cute and I am very happy to be his mom. Colic included. Last night was a tough night for him but I have to say.... he woke up smiling and giggling this morning and the rough night wasn't even thought of.

2006-06-25T11:58:00.000-07:00

Maybe its Mommy bias but...

is he not the cutest kid ever?

PICTURES REMOVED

Where does the time go

2006-06-22T22:57:00.000-07:00

The little man is already 7 weeks old! We are battling colic. It sucks, my heart breaks to see him in so much pain from gas. My life has shrunk to a very small world and in a sense it is wonderful. Part of me though too misses my old world as well. As he grows and learns... the two worlds will get to mesh some.

I love him more than life itself and I love being a mom.

2006-06-08T23:42:00.000-07:00

Alex was diagnosed with Colic this week. Poor little guy. I took him in because he would scream for hours on end even though he was dry, fed, warm, clean. I rocked, sang, bounced, swung and held him and still no relief. He is growing VERY well (yay for breastmilk) and is up to 9 pounds 11 ounces already! Even though there is no magic fix for the Colic, it helps to know that it has a name. Mommy doubts set in early at this phase so I was very relieved to hear that its not me.

I did find a very good fix for it though. Its called a Moby Wrap. I cannot express my love for my Moby enough. We spend a few hours a day in it at least and the last 3 nights he has been asleep in bed by 10:30.

We went to a La Leche League meeting this week as well. The women there were so awesome. I really enjoyed going. Next week I am going to go to a mother's group as well and start networking with some moms now so that I have that when I go back to work. I am SO not looking forward to that and I am trying really hard not to think about it.

2006-06-02T08:57:00.000-07:00

Happy one month birthday Alex!!

Mommy loves you so very much. You are the sun, the stars and the moon of my world.

2006-05-22T22:05:00.000-07:00

Alex is 3 weeks old tomorrow. I adore him. I can't imagine not knowing him.

2006-05-15T19:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my first real Mother's day. I think the best thing I got was Alex. I love him so very much and while I remember life without him.... I wouldn't choose it for all the money in the world.

Now I just need to win the lotto so I never have to work again. I can't imagine going back to work without him. Tomorrow will be his 2 week birthday. I am in awe of this little man and the joy he brings me.

2006-05-05T22:09:00.000-07:00

I'm home. I am in a ton of pain. I'll write out the birth story when I can. Just shy of 24 hours of labor to end in a c-section. My pelvis was too small for "big head". I am in love.... more than I ever thought was possible.

Alex was born at 3:38AM on May 2, 2006. He weighed 7 pounds, 10.4 ounces and measured 21.5 inches long.

2006-04-27T22:50:00.000-07:00

Still no sign of baby yet. He is 2 days over due already. I've tried bribery, promises and threats. So far he appears to be as stubborn as I am.

Here are a few pictures of the nursery.

Some onesies I made him:

2006-04-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

One week exactly until my due date. I am walking as much as I can and trying to be patient. Trying being the keyword there. The carseat is installed, the bag is packed and the camera is charged. Unfortunately, this baby seems to be taking after me. Stubborn and determined to make his own time.

I miss working to some extent. Its odd to be home every day. At the same time, I know that these are the last weeks of my life without being a mom. And soon they will be the first weeks of my son's life. Weeks that will never be regained. I want to be able to capture all of them to store in my heart and mind. I love this little man so much already. I can't wait to see his personality come through. I can't wait to hold him. Mostly, I can't wait to know him.

Come out, come out where ever you are!

2006-04-13T23:09:00.000-07:00

Still waiting... 12 days from today is my due date. So far no signs of any baby in the next week at the minimum.

So we wait while baby brat finishes baking.

2006-04-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

I honestly had no idea it was so easy to be out of breath while literally laying there doing nothing. Alex hasn't dropped yet and it hard to eat, catch my breath and really move a lot. I often find myself getting up to do something and stopping to rest between tasks and then I forget what else I was going to do. I mostly just trying to lay low and rest when I can. Heartburn is friggin brutal and nothing seems to help. The last 2 days have been gorgeous weather wise and so I have gone for a few walks with Freedom. I'm ready to hold my baby or at the very least be comfortable.

I am making plans for next week with friends hoping that doing stuff will keep my mind off of waiting.

All in all.... I'm all done now.

2006-03-31T05:37:00.000-08:00

So I am way too damn lucky and loved.

Yesterday an "all day" baby shower at work. Games and fun throughout the day. I also got a crapload of presents for Mr. Alex. Onesies and bibs, blankets and wash clothes, a sterilizer, a drying rack, a pack and play (the one I wanted but better), a hamper for his room, a Boppy activity center, just SO much stuff. Not to mention a gift card to Babies R Us and a card signed by our whole group.

I was almost tempted to call in sick today so that nothing can spoil this feeling of loving my group. But I won't.... its not how my mom raised me. It was just an amazing day. I am brought my camera in today to take pictures of my desk and stuff. I just can't believe how lucky and cared about we are.

2006-03-26T20:10:00.000-08:00

Life is good. Boring but good. The essentials are unpacked and stuff.

One more week of work. 36 week appointment tomorrow. I am fully expecting to hear that there is NO dilation or effacement and that I will 50 before he even drops. I am really getting frustrated with not being able to breathe. I don't want him to get here per se, well I do but that's because I want to meet him. I just wish he would stop killing my lungs. I am in the nothing is comfortable, always hot, cranky, sore, miserable stage. No... I am not screaming INDUCE ME NOW... just quietly asking Alex to move down a bit. :)

Friday I went and saw my god-daughter in her school play. She was a shrimp. Way too dang cute for words. We went for ice cream afterwards and it was just a nice evening out.

I got to practice setting and maintaining some boundaries with an ex last week as well. It felt good to say "No, I'm not ok with that" and stick with it instead of being talked into something. I dunno.... it just felt grown up. The best part for me I guess was that I was able to do it and not have to make amends later.

Still here....

2006-03-23T06:10:00.000-08:00

I'm still here. Still unpacking, still waiting on the little man to arrive. Still working.

I have a week and a half left of work before my maternity leave starts and I cannot wait. I am very tired and in a lot of pain with my back and hips. I plan on sleeping and resting and getting ready for Alex during the 2 weeks before he is here. I just can't wait to meet him.

Ahhhh the joys of pregnancy

2006-03-16T05:43:00.000-08:00

I could be a walking advertisement for abstinence right now. I have stretch marks, swollen ankles, sore hips and pelvic bones, a sore back, moodiness, I feel like a whale and oh, its dangerous to let me sneeze, laugh, cough or move too much at once.

6 weeks. I cannot wait for Alex to get here. Both because he is killing me from the inside and because I want to meet him. For all my complaints and whining, I have never questioned if the end justifies the means. Every time I watch him roll over in there, I look at the ultrasound pictures and when I think about what a good man he will be.... I know it is all worth it.

Still unpacking and settling in, of course. Freedom seems to be enjoying the backyard and just the space. He discovered the horses yesterday and was more confused than anything else. Sort of like he wants to go greet them but doesn't understand why they are so big.

I already miss living downtown. I was so used to the way things were, the noises and just the rhythm. I'm getting used to the rooster, the horses and cricket sounds. Just the quiet and the stillness. Its rather nice actually... to not hear the crackhead in the alley screaming about her crack pipe at 3AM, to not hear the ghetto bird every night and I don't think I have heard one siren since we got out there. Best perk of all.... Freedom rarely barks. Really it comes down to change and I have never been good at that.

2006-03-13T06:15:00.000-08:00

Um hi *waves*

I'm here (at work). I'm moved. I'm very very tired. I'm very sore.

Saturday, I got up around 7, got breakfast, threw the last minute stuff in boxes. The guys got there around 9:30. We had everything loaded by 12 ish and unloaded, lunch given and all that by 3 or so. Nothing broke (yay)! I took Donovan back to my mom's house to drop the truck and trailer off for her, then back to his house. Stopped in Target got a few random items and then went picked the cats up. Freedom got to go every where with us. I couldn't find his food so he got McDonalds for dinner (bad mom)

Finally got back to the new house around 7. By 9:30 I had unpacked all my clothes, figured out how to light the hot water heater (without blowing myself up) and found a towel for a bath. I literally started falling asleep in the bathtub. When I got up yesterday I could hardly walk. After an hour of just sitting in the bathtub.... I got my back and hips to loosen up enough to move.

I went and cleaned for a good 4 hours but.... I was just too sore and too tired to finish. I'll go back tomorrow after work and vacuum the living room and remop the kitchen one last time and then its done.

I will be so glad when all this is done and I can just sleep. Today I have a chiro appt (yay) and then I need to pick D up and take him to the new house so he can drive the truck and trailer back to his home. Still no internet at home but it should be back up tomorrow or Wednesday.

Baby Shower

2006-03-06T12:46:00.000-08:00

Wow... I am so incredibly blessed and lucky. My baby shower was yesterday. Alex received so so so many wonderful, generous present. All kinds of adorable clothes and blankets and toys. I got the full travel system I needed with the car seat and the crib. The bedding for his room, just so much.

I realized last night that Alex and I are gonna be ok. With a support system like the one I have... how could we not be?

2006-02-25T20:05:00.000-08:00

Things are good. I am seeing a chiropractor now and he is making all the difference in the world. He literally got rid of all the pain in my pelvis and back, granted its temporary but the relief is good. Alex is moving around so much now, its fun to watch him in there.

I'm packing, getting ready to move. My baby shower is next weekend and I am excited and nervous. I hate being the center of attention but I am looking forward to having all my friends in one place.

Work is work... I am definitely not into it. Every day that passes I am more and more ready for maternity leave to start.

Drama with Alex's dad has died down to nothing which is great. He has taken it to the point that the courts will figure everything out and in all honesty, that is a good thing. I have nothing worry about on that front.

Freedom had surgery to remove 2 skin tags and 3 teeth and his normal dental cleaning. Poor pathetic boy.

Not feeling too good... he also managed to get a deep scrape on his chest from playing with a stick. So Dr. Pope shaved it so it would heal better.
Stitches on his eye

All in all things are good.

2006-02-17T07:22:00.000-08:00

Mmmmmmmmm baby daddy drama. What fun. Just a laugh a minute.

[/end sarcasm]

Whatever. Things are going to be what they are. I am slowly starting to see how powerless I truly am over making someone make the right decisions. In every aspect of my life.

Work is going, Freedom is healthy, my family is healthy and I am loved. There isn't much more I can ask for.

2006-02-14T12:10:00.000-08:00

This should be interesting....

Healthy baby!

2006-02-04T18:46:00.000-08:00

I have a very healthy 29 week old baby boy growing! I went today for a 3D ultrasound. Let me say, if you are pregnant and live anywhere near Sacramento, Sonotech 3D rocks. They couldn't have been nicer or more patient.